It. Has been a long week.

Mood: Tired, bored, take your pick.
iTunes: The MIxed Tape - Jack's Mannequin

I'm so tired of everything right now. Like it hasn't all been done before. It's like being 14 all over again, and I'm getting thoroughly annoyed.

But I have been taking a lot of pictures lately. So you should go check them out. The link's to your left, down at the bottom.

-megan.

Merry Christmas

Mood: Really just annoyed and confused out of my mind.
iTunes: Miss Delaney - Jack's Mannequin

The kid is a moron. Know this.

And, I quit. I can't seem to write with any regularity. I don't feel like I can say what I really want to anymore. I know I'm saying that now, but you know I'll be back. Probably after Winter Break, when I have some kind of schedule back.

We'll see.

-megan.

My Life Is Like a Bowl of Sad-Wiches

Mood: Bored.
iTunes: Finding Out True Love is Blind - Louis XIV

I. Hate. Winter. Break.

It's just so boring. There's never anything to do. It's constantly around -300°F outside, which means no wild trips to like the beach, and you can only ride the ferry so many times. It's especially lame when you're all poor and stuff. And apparently I ran out of money at some point yesterday, which makes no sense, as I had $50 in my account. But whatever. There's a reason I keep money in my savings account. It gets used up pretty quick when I don't get paid till the end of the month.

I have to like actually go into work today. Which means I have to do laundry, because I ran out of clean clothes sometime last week and have been making it up since then. You can only wear the same shirt so many times before people start to notice, apparently. But I really don't want to do laundry. It's pretty boring.

However, I managed to get to sleep hella early last night. I don't know how. I was only in bed for like 10 minutes before I fell asleep. It was really awesome.

-megan.

I'm bruised

Mood: Bored
iTunes: I'm Ready - Jack's Mannequin

"So, how do I dress?"
"Mmm, kind of like a first grader."
"What? That doesn't even make sense. First graders are dressed by their moms, and it's very obvious that I dress myself."
"Like a first grader. Yes."

-megan.

Overheard

These two male teachers at my school share a classroom that I am currently in.

Teacher 1: "Wanna make out?"
Teacher 2: "!!!"
Teacher 1: "It was, like, silent in here so I thought I'd say something really inappropriate."

-megan.

Dorkodontist

Mood: Hideous. I'm in a foul mood.
iTunes: Nothing

I had the weirdest day every today. So far, anyway. It started out pretty freaking lame when I left the house about 20 minutes later than I wanted, then got better for about...half an hour. Then it sucked again, and then it was awesome, and now it's on it's way back down to suckfest.

But I am excited for tomorrow. My friend Megan is having some kind of party at her house, and I think that the kid is going to come.

And now, I have to go to the orthodontist. Which I mistakenly referred to as the "dorkodontist" today, loud enough (as usual) for everyone in the entire hallway to hear.

Question: Do you think that a dorkodontist would be a dork with a degree? Or a doctor whose sole purpose in life to cure dorks of their...dorkdom? I should look into it, maybe I'll finally find a major I can deal with...Or at least start a new trend.

-megan.

I like coffee flavored milk

"He probably just didn't know you were trying to kiss him."

"What? Oh. Um."

-megan.

That's, like, insane

Mood: Really happy. Happy happy.
iTunes: I Will Buy You a New Life - Everclear

Maaaan. Today is a good day. I don't know why, but so far it's pretty okay.

Although, I do have to work today, and I do have clinic after that. But I get off work early.

I was just going to whine again about how boring my life is.

It's not. Really. At least not right now. I think that, at least right at this moment, it's, like, perfect. Hideously busy, but in a good way. I've really never been so busy in my entire life, which is kind of weird.

I just know that in like a week the worst 5 things in the world are going to happen to me, because that's the way things work for me. But you know.

-megan.

Everyone is the exact same! But different!

Mood: Siiiick. But actually rather content.
iTunes: Diamonds Remix - Slim Thug

Okay. I'm just about 100% tired of alllll the gangster I've been listening to lately. I don't know why. I'm listening to it right now, when it would take like 5 muscles to lift up my arm and push the little button that would take me on to something like The Libertines or Imogen Heap or something equally better.

And for some reason, whenever I date or do stuff with a guy who really doesn't like rap, I listen to it 100 times more. I don't know why. It really doesn't help things. And then they spend like hours telling me what I should be listening to, and why rap sucks, and that I'm really white, no matter what I think.

It's like some kind of creepy phenomenon, and I wish it would go away.

Anyway. I don't have to go to work today. Instead I'm going over to this girl's house so she can cut my hair for her senior project. Whee! Speaking of hair, the kid got his gorgeous hair cut yesterday. It's all short now. It doesn't look bad or anything, but now there's less of it to play with.

I was just looking through some really old emails I have, and I had sent some slides for a PowerPoint (for some assignment) to myself. Normally, when people do this, they just don't put in a message, or like put in a few random letters (some email things won't let you do this unlses there is a message body or something). But for some reason, I had like written a huge long message.

To myself.

About nothing. What on earth? I'm pretty sure I'm glad I'm not a psycho freak anymore.

-megan.

This Is What Happens When You Turn 17

Mood: Bored, but not in a bad way.
iTunes: Pardon Me - Incubus

Today is kind of weird. Only because my weekend was so long (seeming, anyway), and random, and good.

Except for this girl at church, who apparently is insane, and doesn't understand that she really probably shouldn't get involved in certain aspects of my personal life. But I don't want to get into it on here, really.

Just know, though, that things are going like amazingly well right now. Especially with the kid.

-megan.

Yellow Stuff

Mood: Mostly bored. A little annoyed.
iTunes: There It Go (The Whistle Song) - Juelz Santana

I think that it's dumb when I have to do stupid things after school for no reason. Like chemistry stuff. I am amazing at chemistry and all, but I refuse to do things after school that involve me coming in and hanging out in the lab watching yellow stuff boil.

Also I hate putting rubber bands in my hair. Not hair ties, I'm fine with those. But like real, newspaper-type rubberbands? That just makes me mad because they never come OUT. They just kind of rip at your hair and take half of it with them when they finally do come out.

Um.

-megan.

It'll be like, awesome!

Mood: Pretty awesome, thanks.
iTunes: Here We Go Again - Everclear

So, it looks like this time next year I'll be living in a little apartment with Zanna, sitting around whining about how freaking expensive food is, and doing whatever it is college girls do when they have just moved into a crappy little apartment in downtown Everett.

And dang it, I am so excited.

The plan: Work my butt off for the rest of this year, find a better job and work full time during the summer, saving like crazy. Then, in October, as soon as I turn 18, moving out. And, um, that's it. Oh, I'll be going to EvCC starting that fall, which is kind of huge. I have to like apply for scholarships all over the place starting, like, 2 weeks ago, just so that I can help my parents pay for school somehow.

But my mom is all for it, and Zanna and I are all for it, and we have a plan, and things are just going to be so awesome as soon as I graduate.

This is the second entry in the past like day and a half where I've said that, but it's true. So true.

-megan.

I Own

Mood: Still bored. Nothing's changed in the last 5 minutes.
iTunes: Gold Digger - Kanye West w/ John Legend

I'm all alone in this huge computer lab. Well, actually, no, I'm not. But there's only a few other kids in here, and it makes me nervous. Even if there is a teacher in here.

Okay. I will admit it. I have absolutely no reason to be nervous, whatsoever.

Umm...I hate onion aftertaste. Not immediate aftertaste. The taste that comes a couple hours later. It's like vomit aftertaste.

Uhhh...Hey, it's about time for class to be over.

-megan.

Ooh she so excited...

Mood: Kinda bored.
iTunes: The New Workout Plan - Kanye West

I don't like my CE class. It is a waste of my time.

But I think that my life is about to become one heck of a lot more exciting, for various reasons.

Um. Yeah, you'll never find out what those reasons are, if I play my cards right. But know that I will hopefully be having the time of my life, which is acceptable only because I'm a senior in high school and this is the last year I have to be a kid.

Although, I have to admit, this whole situation would be hella funner if I was an adult.

-megan.

Maybe people should stop TELLING ME WHAT TO DO.

(Update: This isn't directed at any one person, certainly not anyone who reads this. I'm ranting. And I will edit this entry forever until I get it just right, and I get everything out of my system. Keep your eyes open. There's more to come.)

Mood: Distracted. And mad. And getting madder.
iTunes: Oh - Dave Matthews Band

Gmail isn't working, for some reason. I can't email my mom and ask if I can go home early, and that makes me angry. Also, she gave me this huge long speech about what I should do with my life this morning. I don't appreciate this.

There are a lot of things making me angry at the moment. My hair didn't straighten as well as I would have liked it to this morning. I think I failed my chemistry test last period. Or not quite failed, because I know I passed, but I don't know if I passed as well as I wanted to.

Gmail is still down. And I apparently can't type worth anything at this moment.

Too many people are telling me what to do on a now-daily basis. Before, I only got told once in a while, it was really easy to ignore it.

Suddenly, everybody knows better than me who I should hang out with, who I should like, where I should go, what I should be saving up for, how much I should be saving, how often I should be working, where I should be working, what I should be listening to, what I should dwell on, what I should forget and move on from, and so on.

I have gone for 17 years and 2 months without making any huge life-altering/damaging mistakes. I've made big mistakes. But I'm not prematurely dead, or hopelessly addicted to anything, or a teenaged single mother with absolutely no hope or prospects. I'm okay. I think that I will continue to be okay if I go out with him, or go to that school, or listen to that song.

Really.

I know that I am only 17, and you are like twice my age or whatever, and you have experience with these things, and you don't want me to make the same mistakes you did. But I don't learn like that. I can't listen to something and know it's absolutely true. That's going to be something I have to learn for myself. Also, I'm not the same person as you, in case you didn't notice. I won't do well in certain situations that you may have been amazing in. Things that made all the difference in the world for you may not do the same for me.

I only have 17 years of experience, and crappy judgement on top of that, but you were 17 once. And you're still alive, and successful, and were even on the brink of making life-changing decisions like I'm about to - although, I bet you chose differently. And it worked for you, so it must be the same for everyone else! Right?

Nope.

-megan.

I don't match today! I'm proud!

Mood: I'm happy.
iTunes: Can't Stand Me Now - The Libertines

I'm in a good mood today. My parents are having some kind of "Monday Night Football" party tonight. No one in our entire family even watches football, much less cares at all about it. Anyway, they'er calling it a party. They have only, apparently, invited one other family, and none of the kids in said family are my age. I was whining to the kid about it, and he said he would come. As long as his mom says it's okay. I'm a little ecited about it. Hopefully that will make it a bit more bearable. Also Zanna said that she and her boyfriend might come, and Spencer also might come, if he can get away from his family long enough. At any rate, I might not be left alone with nothing to do but study for my huuuuge chemistry test tomorrow, which I'm going to ace either way, because that's the only class I'm any good at.

I don't have an English class this semester. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I am thinking that rather than major in biology (which was the plan a while ago) in college, that I might want to major in English and..Actually. I have no clue what one does with an English major, besides maybe teach. And I dont think I really want to teach much. Also I can't stand all those classics you're kind of supposed to like as an English major - I just like writing.

Well. I'm only a senior. I have plenty of time...right? Gag.

-megan.

(p.s. It's a new style - black velvet blazer, electric blue t-shirt, beat up converse, and jeans - it's hoooot!)

Here!

Here are the shoes I got myself. If you were wondering.

-megan.

I have no idea what I want for Christmas...

Mood: Huuuuungry.
iTunes: One Straw (Please) - Bright Eyes

I'm fairly certain that yesterday was a good day. I got the best possible parking spot at the most ghetto mall in Washington, the best possible deal on this pair of shoes that I bought (sorry, no picture yet. But know that they are cute. They are ballet flats covered in silver and black sequins.), and then...actually. That's about where all the good stuff stops. It started snowing. Hard. And my parents wouldn't let me drive anywhere. But then I got on later and the kid was online, and he wanted a ride to school this morning. Which wasn't cancelled, it was fully in session.

It was an awesome ride to school. Actually, not really, I gave him a ride on Wednesday too and it was exactly the same as that time-we didn't really say much at all. But still. His dog jumped on me when I walked in and made my hand smell like dog. It was kind of gross, but toally forgiveable, because he got in my car and made it smell really good.

I could go on about this kid for hours. He's just so good looking, with his amazing hair. But I'll spare you.

-megan.

I hate putting titles on these things...

Mood: Still a little...ish, but doing better. Atually, at the moment, I'm in an awesome mood.
iTunes: White to Red - Forgive Durden

It's snowing. When I was little I loved snow so much.

And now that I drive, I HATE IT. I don't mind driving in it a whole lot, that part is fine. It's the scraping of the windows, and I swear my parents think that I have the same amount of driving ability that I did when I ripped the bumper off the van the first day I had my license.

Come on, that was almost a year ago.

Anyway. Remember that kid, the one I told I liked him?

We hang out like all the time now. Or something. I like it. And we're hanging out lots this weekend, too.

I heart being 17, people!

-megan.